Spring Break Was Not a Break...

With spring break crashing to an abrupt close, I'm finding it necessary to channel all of the forces I can muster for 6 more weeks of focus.  I still have a lot to do in the next six weeks.  I may have mentioned this before, but 5 classes plus 2 labs is like taking 7 classes (a lot of freaking school time).  ECSU estimates that for every hour spent in class, there should be two hours of homework...  so, 21 hours of class means 42 hours of homework per week?  Crap. 

Anyhow, I spent my spring break working at both the post office and my firewood job, and I took on the joyful task of painting the kitchen, the living room, and the hallway - purple, green, and green respectively.  Also, for the entire week, the weather hovered above 60 degrees during the day with glorious sunshine, so it was almost like being on vacation someplace really nice.  The weather, and the fact that I was "on break" made it tough for me to follow my training schedule, so I just rode outside as much as possible and enjoyed myself.  Back to work with the plan tomorrow (rest day, thankfully).

I capped off the break with the first race of the mountain bike season today.  It would figure that the beautiful week would have a forecast of rain for the race, so I thought the best option would be to bring my 26er with the grippy tires.  The course had lot of wooden bridges and roots that would be pretty greasy with wet weather.  The 29er (yeah, I have that option now) would have been faster and less brutal, but the tires on that bike are not something I'd have been comfortable with on wet wood.  As luck would have it, the course was bone dry.  I would have been fine.  I managed a 3rd place finish.  It wasn't my best race, but I certainly left as much as I could on the course, and did a fun lap with some of the guys afterward.  I'm tired and look forward to sitting on my butt at school tomorrow.  

*girl stuff to follow...

So, I blogged about this topic before, but I gotta say, being a female is rough.  I had a feeling I was going to get a visit from my least favorite aunt today.  I even calculated the day based on the classic method of counting the days out on the calendar, and it looked grim.  Crossing your fingers for it to hold off a day or two doesn't work, just in case anyone was wondering.  Aunt Flo arrived right on time, first thing this morning.  Needless to say, I was feeling very under the weather for the race.  Biologically, what do guys have to deal with?  Spontaneous boners?  Balding?  Poor them.  

Preaching a lil', but I'm not sorry

confidence
noun
-the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust
-the state of feeling certain about the truth of something
-a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities
-the telling of private matters or secrets with mutual trust
-a secret or private matter told to someone under such a condition of trust
THESAURUS: trust, belief, faith, credence, condition, confidentiality...

To me, a relationship of any kind, whether it be a friendship, a marriage, or a business alliance, should be built on a mutual confidence towards one another.  There should be no question that anything discussed in private would be passed along without permission.  When that's done, it implies that the person who broke the confidence can no longer be trusted.  Thus, whatever relationship existed (friend, marriage, alliance) is no longer intact because its foundation has been destroyed.  Rebuilding something like trust is probably one of the most difficult things to do.  That's why so many relationships end after a partner cheats, or a friendship falls to pieces after someone purposefully shares information that was given to them in confidence.

I'm writing about this because I think it's important that we all evaluate ourselves and our habits.  Are we being the kind of friend or partner that we want in return?

I think it's important to consider integrity.  Not just in our relationships with others, but in all areas of our lives because there's no room for the alternative.  Integrity can be defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.  There's really no room for the alternative if you want anyone to trust you or find you worthy of their time.

A Meditation About Motivation...

I've been asked a lot lately, "Liz, how do you stay so motivated?"
My lazy unthinking answer has been, "Golly, I just don't know."  Ok, maybe my answer isn't exactly that hokey, but I usually mumble something about it being tough, but I just do it.

Well, I've been thinking about it, and I have a LOT of things that keep me motivated.

#6 Fitting into my favorite pair of jeans.  I SURE DO know that that's kind of shallow, but I don't really care.  Nothing beats being able to fit into a nice fitted pair of jeans... especially a pair that you couldn't fit in a few years ago.  That's motivation enough for me to eat well.  Never mind the feeling of mental clarity and overall goodness that comes from good nutritious food.

#5 A good job that I enjoy, someday.  Yes, someday, when all of this school stuff is done with, I hope to have a job I love.  No, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but I have ideas, and I'm moving in a direction of progress rather than sitting around wishing things would get better on their own.

#4 Balance.   Having lots to do is, in and of itself, a HUGE motivator.  Finding that sweet spot where you are just managing to fit everything in while still allowing yourself some downtime to blab on your blog is key to the balance equation.  If you aren't scheduling yourself a little downtime, do it.  You can motivate yourself in knowing that you have a scheduled break.

#3 Do what you love and love what you do.  I LOVE to ride and race my mountain bike.  While I don't have tons of time to be doing that right now, I am putting in enough time training indoors to make the few rides that I get outside the most amazing rides ever.  Yes, I get disappointed that I miss lots of good rides, but it's knowing that I have other priorities that I also love (school, family) that keeps me optimistic.  There are still plenty of things that I have to do that suck, but finding the positive aspects of those and really focusing on them makes them much easier to bear.  Delivering mail?  It's monotonous and mind-less, but there are good things about it that make it less awful.  Of course, the paycheck is one of them. :)

#2 Friends and Family.  The people in my life who believe in my ability to succeed are a huge motivator to me.  Whether it's an acquaintance, a close friend, a family member, or my little girl, I have a network of people who never fail to lift me up when I'm down or drop an inspiring line or two my way.  Thank you!

#1 Life is short.  My mom, an amazing woman, mother, artist, teacher, nature-lover, (former cycling enthusiast), has a degenerative brain disease that has left her a very far cry from the person that she used to be.  She lives in a nursing home and can no longer form sentences to speak let alone do any of the things that she used to love doing.  I miss her terribly.  Yes, I know, I'm lucky to still have her in my life, but it's really hard to see her the way she is now.  What's most tragic about this is that she's young.  This all started in her early forties, and it happened fast.  I've learned so much from this.  When I say life is short, I'm acknowledging that it's too short to waste doing trivial things that you don't love.  If there's something you don't like about your life, you should do something to change it, because someday you might not be able to.  Even if you were to die next week, wouldn't it be better to know that you took a few steps before that in a direction that makes you happier?  I might be swamped with stuff to do right now, but I'm moving my life in directions that make me happy, and in turn, the people around me are happy because I'm less miserable than I could be.

So yeah, I'm motivated.  I definitely have my down days, and I absolutely have moments of self-loathing, self-doubt, and defeat.  But, it eventually passes.

thirty-three days

...until the first race of the season!

You know how some people say, "I'm ready as I'll ever be"?  Yeah, I've said it myself a time or two.  It makes me think though.  Sure, you can't really be any more ready than you currently are, but in preparing yourself for something, you can put in more effort than you normally would... then you're MORE ready than you would have ever been...

Okay, that's talking in circles, but cycling is all about circles.

I've mentioned before how I've got only a teeny tiny itty bitty amount of time in my day to train.  Somedays, an hour is really hard to justify if I am behind on schoolwork or my daughter wants my company. That being said, if an hour is really all I have, then I need to make every minute of it count.  These past few weeks I've been going all out on focus and intensity (work ethics that I learned in high school marching band), and I'm hoping like hell that it's going to pay off.  In thirty-three days, we'll find out.

Just in case anyone didn't know what I was doing for training, I'm going to break the cyclists code and tell you, flat out, exactly what I'm doing.  Go to this link and it's right there.  That's it.  I follow the plan, and when it has advanced options, I do them.  If I feel like complete crap, I might skip a workout and add a little bit onto another day.  There's no need to do any "secret training" because it isn't about whether we are doing the same thing or not, it's about what we're putting into it.  I've got my marching band skills that I put in, how bout you?  All joking aside, I just thought I'd share that info because it would be rude not to.

First race on the schedule?  The King of Burlingame Time Trial.  I haven't done this race before, but I did some pre-riding there with my teammates the past two years.  Rumor has it that the course is going to be different this year, and I'm hoping that they're adding more technical stuff.  Time trials aren't really my thing because it takes me so long to warm up, but it'll be over quick enough that if I blow myself up a little bit, I shouldn't have to suffer for too long.

The following weekend is the first official race of the Root 66 Series.  It's technically a local race because it's in CT, but it's still a hike.  The race is at Hop Brook Dam, and if you're thinking of doing it, make sure you register in advance because they aren't doing any registration at this venue on the day of the event.

Final thought on this completely random blah blah blah blog...
I caught the 29er bug.  I want one.  Don't get me wrong, I love my Dragon, but when I see how effortless those big silly wheels roll over everything that I have to muscle over, I get a bad case of wheel envy.  I'm hoping that there are still some left in my size when I can actually come up with the money, and I'm hoping that's before August and the Hampshire 100.  It sure would be nice to have some big wheels for that one...  we'll see if the money tree I planted puts out any fruit by then. ;)

Back at it...

How did the week of "rest" and "recovery" go?   

Well, knowing that I would be kid-less on the closing weekend of the rest period, I decided to start resting a day early.  The Sunday heading into rest, I did an easy hike with my daughter and followed that up with some yoga.  I spend the entire week doing lots and lots of yoga and stretching, but with balmy weather all week, I did sneak in a short easy mountain bike ride with one of my favorite groups of riders/pizza & beer consumers.  That ride was tough for me because I knew I had to hold back.  Not only was I supposed to be resting and letting my body recover, but I was also trying to let my heart rest.  I don't imagine that it's very good to drive your heart rate up to max capacity on a regular basis without giving it a vacation once in a while.  

I have to say, I did better than I thought I would this week.  I probably could have done better, but I'm a newbie at forcing myself to rest.  Usually when rest happens, it's due to some sort of life complications getting in the way... like having to work or write a paper.  These things aren't exactly restful either.  So, I started a day early, but I ended two days early.  I got back on the bike on Saturday, mostly because I didn't want to miss out on a gorgeous weekend at the beginning of February, and partly because I knew that the following weekend I'd have my daughter.  

I had all intentions of doing a shorter, tempo ride on Saturday.  It ended up being longer than I'd planned, but the tempo was killer.  I was basically playing "chase" with some of my buddies, and they were definitely not going easy on me... although, maybe they were, and I'm just not that fast.  (heehee).  The plan for Sunday was a long tough ride and concentrating on some long stretches with some high tension.  We were out for about 3.5 hours in some of the bumpiest, leg-sucking terrain.  

I figured I'd have trouble walking for a couple days, but the only symptom was some fatigue, so I think the yoga-rest combo last week paid off.  I recovered yesterday with more rest, and felt less than fresh when I got on the trainer this morning, but luckily, I was able to muster up a little bit of focus that carried me through two 30-minute HIT (high intensity training) sessions.  phew!  Those ones were tough.  It's a good thing nobody's around when I'm doing those, because I typically swear a whole lot and sweat profusely.  I get quite gross.  

90 day summary...

It's been just shy of 90 days since I began the CYCLO90 training plan; I'm in the final week.  I have to admit, this is probably going to be the most challenging week because it's a recover and rest week.  I don't do "rest" very well.   My last week of rest was the week that I had my wisdom teeth pulled, so it was much easier to sit on the couch with my feet up.  Not to mention, I wasn't eating much, so I didn't really have the energy to go tear up any trails anyhow.

So,  yesterday I started my rest week off by taking a slow hike with my daughter and some friends, and I followed that up with some really easy yoga.  I don't have any special yoga skills or anything; I just used a DVD.  Instead of a trainer workout this morning, I sat by the wood stove in the basement soaking up the warmth and reading.  For the past couple of weeks, I've been doing my training early - 5am!  A full-time school schedule doesn't allow for much else, and I've been trying to work as much as possible after classes.  Saturdays are workdays too, so there's another day I tend to train early.  Every other weekend my daughter is at her father's so I can ride Saturday afternoons when I get out of work, but the weekends that I do have her, I'm either on the trainer, or finding her a play-date for a couple of hours so I can get a real ride in.  (I have to thank Amy Biscup right now, because she has been my #1 person to help me out with this.)

Obviously, I'm hella' busy.  But, who the hell isn't?!  This is why I started CYCLO90.  I have a tiny tiny tiny amount of time for training.  That little scrap of time has to be used wisely, and it looked like that's what that plan was all about.  At this point, it's working wonders.  Every time I actually get out and ride, I feel like I've brought my "A" game.  There are no more of those rides where I get out there and feel like I have to make excuses because I don't have time to ride.  Honestly, I don't have time to ride.  Riding requires getting dressed, going somewhere, bringing a bunch of junk with me, and cleaning it all up after. I do have time to train.  Training is just from 30 minutes to an hour and a half, in my basemen,t with no helmet, a pair of cycling shorts, and a tank top.  No tubes in my pockets.  No tools.  No mud to clean up (at least I hope not.)  There's just a whole lot of intensity and a salty mess of perspiration.

I knew my legs were getting stronger.  My quads had started to change shape a little bit.  Even with all of the cycling I did last summer, they hadn't gotten as defined as this.  My weight is the same, and I don't really think I ought to be losing any anyhow.  But, my body has definitely transformed.  Not to divulge too much of my private life, but I was told that my body feels different... in a good way.  (sweet).  Compliments like that make me want to see if the "bounce a quarter off it" statement is true or not.  I have a good support system in my life right now - a man who knows how to compliment me in the right ways.  I appreciate that, and I appreciate that he is supportive of my decisions.  Plus, he doesn't think I have a mental disorder for wanting to do a 100 mile mountain bike race.  When I told him I signed up, he said, "Good!  You can do it."

What's next?  90 days!  I'm doing it again.  I might add some things to the days where I'm doing hard workouts, but for the most part, I'm following the plan to a T.  When I'm supposed to rest, I'll rest.  When I'm supposed to ride a lot, I'll make it work into my schedule somehow.  The first race I have planned is April 22 in Farmington, CT.  The course has not been my forté in the past, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to bring some brilliant skills to the dirt this time around.  It's one of those road-racing meets mountain biking courses.  There's a lot of fast, wide terrain with not a whole lot of technical aspects.  Yuck.  I am a tech junky.  (Rock gardens for life!)  I'm looking at it as a challenge; that's helping me to look forward to it.

"Pro" ...it seems to denote some sort of royalty...

...and it shouldn't!

I've noticed lately that having the "pro" title near my name makes me sound like I'm some sort of super hero or member of the royal family.  I'd like to explore a little bit why that word holds so much weight; I'd also like to put it out there that it realllllly shouldn't.  Anyone who knows me is well aware that I'm nothing special.  I'm an average everyday girl going through the same crap as everybody else.  I eat, sleep, and poop just like the rest of the human race.

Here's what the New Oxford American Dictionary has to say about it:
professional |prəˈfeSHənl|adjective1 [ attrib. ] of, relating to, or connected with a profession: young professional people| the professional schools of Yale and Harvard.2 (of a person) engaged in a specified activity as one's main paid occupation rather than as a pastime: a professional boxer.• having or showing the skill appropriate to a professional person; competent or skillful: their music is both memorable and professional.• worthy of or appropriate to a professional person: his professional expertise.• informal, derogatory denoting a person who persistently makes a feature of a particular activity or attribute: a professional naysayer.nouna person engaged or qualified in a profession: professionals such as lawyers and surveyors.• a person engaged in a specified activity, esp. a sport or branch of the performing arts, as a main paid occupation rather than as a pastime.• a person competent or skilled in a particular activity: she was a real professional on stage.
There are obviously lots of definitions that can apply, but the only one that applies to me is the very last one.  Being a "pro" mountain biker is only really a big deal to 1% of the cyclists who race.  The other 99% pretty much fit in the same category.  We are the middle class of the cycling world.  We work our asses off and don't make any real money for it.  Even the 1% that make money cycling don't really make a whole lot of money.  What they earn is fame, not fortune...  unless they are Lance, but there's only one of him. 
I told someone yesterday that being a "pro" only means that you are racing in a particular category.  It means that you are willing to push yourself to an extra level, or maybe you are just more willing to get your ass kicked...  other than that, it doesn't make you special.  It shouldn't make other people feel like they are less important, or that they are not an accomplished athlete.  We need to stop looking at labels as if they mean something more than they do.  
As a cyclist with that silly "Pro" label on my cycling license, I don't feel any different than I did when I first started riding and racing.  Yeah, my ass is a little tighter, and I've had some awesome experiences along the way, but I'm still just me.  I'm just like everyone else out there.  I don't have any sponsors.  I have to pay to race (in fact, sometimes pro races cost more).  AND, I my ass STILL hurts when I've been in the saddle all day... just like everyone else's.