Late Again - 10 minute Play Genre

Late Again

Setting: Dave and Lucy have just ridden their mountain bikes up to the start of a trail to ride off-road (Stage Left) They are prepared and ready to roll. There are a couple of large rocks or logs on stage that Dave and Lucy practice riding over in the midst of their conversation.
Characters: Dave, Lucy, Chester

Dave: This should be a great ride as long as we keep moving. It's got to be under 30 degrees right now for sure.
Lucy: I just wish it would get warm enough for all of this snow to melt so we can ride without worrying about wiping out every 5 feet. I get more tired from trying to stay on two wheels than from pedaling my ass up hills and over rocks.
Dave: That's true, but it could always be worse.
(pause)
So who all is coming besides us?
Lucy: Well, you-know-who said he'd be here, and I specifically told him to be on time.
Dave: Ughhhh...what? why'd you do that?
Lucy: I know!
Dave: You know he's just gonna be even more late now.
Lucy: I know! I just hoped I'd persuade him otherwise. I'll call and see if he's coming.
(Digs in pocket for cell phone and dials... then waits impatiently for connection)
Hey Chester, are you coming?
(pause)
Well, where are you then?
(rolling eyes)
Ok, we'll wait.
(hanging up phone)
He's just getting off the highway.
Dave: So we've got another ten minutes standing here in the cold... great.
Lucy: I can't believe he's late... well, no, I can believe it... I shouldn't have told him to be on time...
Dave: I don't know about that guy.
Lucy: I'm not inviting him anymore, this is ridiculous.
Dave: (Looking at watch) We are already 10 minutes late for ride time.
Lucy: Yup, I bet he still has to change his clothes and fix some shit on his bike before we can actually ride too....
Dave: True Dat
(pause while Dave makes some adjustments on his front suspension)
Lucy: So, I've been thinking, we really need to get back on that mountain biker zombie movie idea. I mean, we had some good ideas... what the hell happened to that?
Dave: Yeah, I guess I kinda forgot about that, I've been so busy with work, and side jobs, and kids... it's tough to add more junk to the schedule.
Lucy: I know what you're saying, I've been swamped with school. It was a good idea though... I mean, we know enough crazy people to really make something bad-ass... and it'd be fun to put on some stupid costumes and film ourselves riding.
Dave: Yeah, I guess... we should borrow a video camera from someone and just get 'er done... maybe post it up on youtube.
Lucy: I think we should do it this summer... and we should put a character in it named Chester and make him the first one to have his head gnawed off.
Dave: Yeah, have him show up late for a ride and everyone leaves without him and the zombies get him first!
Lucy: We should just leave without him... I wish I didn't say we'd wait for him.
Dave: We should wait until he pulls into the parking lot and sees us... then take off.
Lucy: Oh my God, that would be so funny... I'd love to see the look on his face...
(Pause... )
We really do need to do something about him... I'm so sick of his crap.
(leans bike against tree and huddles to stay warm)
So, what else is up? You still selling cell phone games?... Ever make that zombie smash game?
Dave: No, but I've got some other ideas I'm working on right now... You remember those old RPG games that were entirely text based?
Lucy: Oh yeah! Those were great! Is that what you're working on?
Dave: Yes... well, not yet, but I will be. I have some ideas, but I'm going to need lots more because there have to be lots of alternatives... like go left, meet man with a mullet who smells like eggs, or go right, meet a drag queen in a ball gown with a prosthetic arm...
Lucy: Nice! Nothing is ever complete without a mullet, a drag queen, or a prosthetic arm. You should do your brain storming on mountain bike rides... there is always some sort of strange conversation happening somewhere in our group and you should be able to get some bad ass ideas.
(Dave and Lucy look up. A car has pulled in to a place off stage.)
Here he is, and it doesn't look like he's even close to being ready. Go figure.
Dave: Dude, I can't think of one single ride where that guy was ready to go... his junk is always busted up and needing to be fixed at the last minute.
Lucy: Seriously, I'm not telling him about any more rides... he was late last week too, and it was just as cold out... maybe that was okay back in California, but it's not okay here.
Dave: Maybe Cali was too easy going for him. He lives to piss people off... those California people were just too damn chill for him.
Lucy: Oh man, look at this shit... he's not even ready yet!
(Chester appears on the side of the stage. He has a bag of gear and a bike in pieces and goes about assembling his bike and getting dressed at stage right. He is oblivious to what Dave and Lucy are talking about and can't hear them.)
Dave: (Looks at watch again) We are 20 minutes late. By the time we actually ride, it's gonna be 9:30! This is crazy, I can't believe we are waiting for him again.
Lucy: I think he tries so hard to be different that he has to do the exact opposite of everything that normal society does. He can't ever do what he's told, and then he thinks that everything he does is the right way. He's psychotic.
Dave: There is definitely something not quite right up there.
Lucy: Get this... he asked me what it'll take for me to set him up with some of my friends... I told him he needs to stop being such a fucking know-it-all. Nobody wants to be told that everything they do is wrong... can you imagine him trying to get it on with a chick? (mocking)...oh, wait, don't touch me like that, you're doing it wrong... He's probably never even gotten a hand-job from a girl.
Dave: Probably right, but I think he likes guys anyway.
Lucy: I wouldn't be surprised. He's probably just acting like he likes girls because he wants to prove everyone wrong... he's probably like, they all think I like guys, so I'll like girls to spite them.
Dave: (Looking at watch) I'm freezing. This is nuts.
(yelling) Hey Chester, the ride started over 20 minutes ago, lets go!
Lucy: Geez Dave, now he's gonna move even slower, knock it off!
Dave: We should just go... he can try to catch up... he deserves some sort of punishment for being so late.
Lucy: Sounds like a plan... let's get the fuck out of here.
Dave: (Yelling) Hey Chester, ready or not, the ride is starting, be here on time, or don't ride dude!
Lucy: For real?
Dave: Yes, lets go.... enough is enough...
Lucy: (Yelling) See ya around Chester!
(Dave and Lucy ride away leaving Chester still tinkering with his bike. Meanwhile, a rustling and moaning comes from stage right. A zombie comes out of the woods and heads towards Chester. The curtains close on this.)